Subtle Glow

I would have to say, “Garden State” is probably the best bet for favorite. Generally I don’t like to pick favorites, but when I saw this question that was the first answer that popped in my head. Great soundtrack, too.

Kiddo and I hustled out of the house this morning so that we could run by Starbucks together before I dropped him off at school. On my way to work, I pulled to a stop at a signal. The car next to me inched forward a bit and then I heard a horn sound. I looked over to see someone smiling at me, meanwhile I’m wondering, who the heck is that?! Why is he staring at me?

I waited for the realization to down on him that he had mistaken me for someone else, when suddenly the recognition clicked for ME.

It was my brother. You know, the one who lives with me? Yah, that one.

Wow. You can just call me Quick Draw McGraw.

I need to take more pictures of my kiddo. I never stuck with the 365 project because - what I’m gonna take a picture of today? More junk from my house? Another kind of phone?

I purposely didn’t do the self-portrait one because - pictures of me? Every day?

But him…  I can’t have enough pictures of him!

For someone who thinks she is sooo smart, sometimes I can really be dumb!

I woke up this morning with a killer of headaches, one that made me almost sick to my stomach. I hate mornings and generally feel as if I might die when the alarm goes off, so I did what I always do and started getting ready for work. Typically the brink of death feeling fades after I shower and get through the morning routine. I think that might be one reason why I am so insistent that the routine must be followed every day, as soon as I wake up.

This morning, however, was different. I showered and still felt crappy. Got dressed and thought I might actually feel more crappy than when I woke up. I decided to call in to work and go back to bed. I woke up a bit later and my eye was all red and swollen and weeping. ICK.

I’m whining about how I’m not feeling well, which is probably the most boring thing ever to read, so I will continue to type this as I squint from one eye and resist the urge to rub the itchiness out of it as I finish, and then I’m going back to bed.

Tonight I get to go up to my mom’s house because two of my uncles that I haven’t seen since I was likely an age that was a single digit are here. For one day. The day I have the ogre eye. Awesome!

To all television networks everywhere for all of eternity:

Enough with trying to make the idiot box show crap in 3D. We don’t want to wear the stupid glasses and we don’t want the migraine headache that comes with it when we do finally wear them, because the color is otherwise all fucked up when we try to watch without the glasses.

Commercials are one thing, we can skip them if we have to, but an entire episode or an entire night of television shows? Stop already, it doesn’t work and it’s annoying that you keep trying.

HD exists, for extra subscription costs every month, where we can be treated to every nook and cranny of skin imperfections and whatever else is going on with the people on the screen. That’s enough, thank you very much. The sad attempts to make it pop out of the actual screen, or the illusion of such, with the alternative of ‘What the fuck is all that yellow color bleeding everywhere?’ are too much. Give up the ghost, it ain’t happening.

I mentioned in one of the four entries in the last six months here how I got a crown put on a tooth recently.

So…  that was fun. Until it needed a root canal.

Right now I have yet another temporary crown and so far it seems to be behaving itself, mostly. The only reason I mention it is because I was at lunch today, when I felt a chunk of *something* in my mouth after I got done eating I secretly began to flip completely out.  Obviously I didn’t want to upset my lunch companions, but at the same time there was something in my mouth. I was terrified that it was part or all of my temporary crown and when my tongue confirmed it was not, there was the secondary spazzing that I just sucked something out of my drink and into my mouth.

Right about the time my panic started to develop into full blown conniption, I spied the lemon slice in my glass - minus the seed that was in there when the waitress set it down in front of me.

From now on, I’ll be the customer who will very politely ask for my beverage with “no lemon, please.”

Tonight is our designated “Family Night” - just me and Kiddo hanging out making dinner and watching a movie together. I see him almost every day but somehow setting up a designated family time makes a difference.

He called me when he got home from school today, and reminded me with great excitement, “Tonight is family night!”

Last week we watched a movie together and planned out a special dinner we could make together. This week he wants me to watch another movie that he has picked out. He started describing it to me, and as the details got more and more involved I stopped him, “Hey, have you seen this movie before?”

“Yes! It’s so funny, I can’t wait for you to see it.”

I love that he still wants to spend time together and that he gets so excited to share things with me. I keep waiting for the day when he won’t want to do that anymore, mentally preparing myself so that I’m not disappointed when the day arrives.

The thing is, I’ve been “preparing” for that day for at least a couple years now. I’m starting to wonder how much I’m actually holding back from him as a means to protect myself at his expense in the meantime.

I know. I KNOW. Also, I don’t really know how I used to type in here day after day, and sometimes multiple times per day and now? Well sometimes there are whole months without any little links on the the calendar dates indicating I have been here.

Confession: I am in a stage in life right now where I am trying to acknowledge that I am a commit-a-phobe. Maybe I always have been. I don’t know. If I did, would I admit it? Probably not, and if you want proof just take a look at all the words after “Confession” a couple sentences ago. I can’t won’t even come out and say it directly.

So coming here and commiting to being here and saying something every day feels, well, like a commitment and DUH every writer everywhere in existence will tell you that’s one of the first steps to being a writer. Write. Every day. Write something every day.

Commit. I’m not saying I will. I’m just saying if I make an effort to be here more often and just put a little blurb on the page for the day, it doesn’t mean it’s forever, ok? It just means for right now. It also doesn’t promise to be anything worth reading.

It may even be me forcing to write something about the first topic that comes up in a random topic of the day generator that I googled 10 mintues before I got here to write about it.

So if you want to stop in and see what’s going on, feel free! If you don’t, that’s ok too. I’m ok with it either way.

See?

NO COMMITMENT REQUIRED!

Lately I’ve been missing my knitting. Knitting and watching television. I watched a few episodes of some shows I had saved on the DVR and I really missed watching hours of mindless television. Also, I’m almost positive that my laundry doesn’t get hung/put away in a timely manner because I don’t sit and watch E! while I do that anymore. Things like this make me want to get out my yarn and needles again.

I am not a “purse person” and by that I mean I don’t care much about the label or designer or whether or not it matches my shoes or the season or whatever the fuck else “purse people” go by. My concern and desires center around function. I’m certainly not one to spend hundreds of dollars on a purse, because to me it just feels weird and a little disconcerting when the purse I am carrying costs more than any amount of money i may carry in it.
I have the worst time finding a purse I like. Most of the time I carry the same purse, never completely satisfied with it, but never completely hating it.

I wonder, does my ideal purse or bag even exist?
My criteria for a suitable purse or bag is simple: It must be big enough to become a black fucking hole of waste and endless cursing and searching, and yet - it must be designed in such a way that it is NOT a black fucking hole of waste and endless cursing and searching. Mainly because I don’t want to carry around a bag that is a wee bit too small and therefore looks shoved full to choking and barely closes. Like wearing a muffin top because you’re either too blind or stupid to admit that, “Hey, actually I wear a different pant size.”  We know, trust me we know.
But shouldn’t it be possible to have a medium-ish sized bag that when I want to grab my keys and my sunglasses - they are easily reachable without upending the contents? Or, when I get a phone call I should be able to easily reach in and grab my phone before the call falls into the Void of Voice mail? You know what this is. Void of Voice mail is where I miss the call and stare blankly as seconds tick by while I try to drill in to the missed call log, establish if it is a number I recognize or not, try to decide if I should just call the number back, and then wait a few more seconds to see if they leave a voice mail.  When the phone remains mute,  toss the phone back in the purse only to have it ding that YES! They did leave a voice mail after all. At which point I rummage through to find the fucking phone, again, and GAH I hate this purse!!

I don’t carry a ton of makeup in my purse, a lipstick and maybe a tube of chapstick for when I don’t feel like being so fancy. Sometimes I throw in my matte powder because in the summer - there is a certain GLOW about my face at times during the day. Just not the good kinda glow, you know?  Other than that, no other makeup to speak of. I just want a little compartment or pouch where I can throw that stuff instead of it floating around the bottom. Also so that if my some weird chance of just the right jostling a cap comes off or the powder opens it doesn’t decimate the rest of the contents, but instead is held in one single pocket that will be relegated in the future to temporary tampon storage only.

Which brings me to the next criteria. I should be able to pack a few *supplies* discreetly, and only on occasion. There’s nothing worse than a purse that functions just fine except for 4 days of the month where the whole space to item balance is blown all to fuck because of a few tampons and a couple panty liners.  See my earlier reference to the muffin top of purses.

Lastly it needs to be secured so that if I am walking through a crowded area it’s not open season for someone to slip their hand in and steal my tampons, or something equally as inconvenient to have stolen, like my lipstick. Because I have to go to the MALL for that, and I really don’t like to go there unless I’m out of either that lipstick or my face soap. Preferably I would make one trip to get them together and not have to go back for another few months.

I don’t think any of this is unreasonable, and if you do - well, I haven’t shared my criteria for a WALLET yet, have I?