Subtle Glow

Somehow, through a series of random twists in conversation, I got on the topic of marriage and future children. And on how I don’t want any more of either. I’ve been married. I’ve been divorced. Please - that was so last decade. And, it is so NOT the new black. Not for me anyway.

What’s the deal with people telling me I’m too young to make certain decisions regarding marriage and family? I’ll be 30 in March. Yes, still young. No, still don’t want to get married again. Or have any more kids. I’ve been through plenty of life experience in the last 30 years. So, why am I always (or very nearly always) met with major resistance when I say I do not want a) any more children or b) to get married again? Seriously, I don’t even want to deal with DATING and all that ‘getting to know you’ bullshit. Honestly I find it excruciating. People hear that and say, “Oh, you’re so young, don’t worry, when the right guy comes along… it’ll happen when you least expect it.”

I know they mean well. How do you calmly explain to someone that my life goal really isn’t heading anywhere near marriage and family? So, I’m not sitting around waiting for life to begin once the perfect match comes along. Sorry to disappoint. *shrug*

I sound defensive, right?

Shit.

Here’s the thing. Ten years ago, I suspected that I did not want to have children. I listened to people tell me I was too young to make that decision. I convinced myself that I did want the whole marriage/family package. My error was not having the child, but rushing to the decision – with the wrong man. I continued convincing myself (despite all signs contrary) that if I hoped hard enough, he would be the right man.

I didn’t listen to myself then – You can bet I am sure as hell listening now.

Today’s Public Service Announcement: Trust people to know what they are talking about when it comes to this stuff. We don’t all live to fulfill the perfect family image, and most of us are really cool with that.