Said to me today…
by my kiddo on the way to school this morning:
“You hurt my feelings really bad and I’m very angry at you!”
Got to hand the kid some credit for finally using his words. It’s our family policy that as long as there are no threats, name-calling or other abuses that I’ll listen to what he has to say. So I ask what’s got him so upset. Then he hits me with this one:
“You’re just too mean of a mom to have a child!”
Ooof. That one hit me right in the gut. Wow, he’s got a way with words. Where the heck did he come up with that?
It certainly got my attention.
We had a rough bit of morning - what with me and the hurrying to get out of the house on time, and him with the not wanting to take out a small bag of trash he had left sitting by the door for two days.
I actually dealt the “my house, my rules” speech, granted with a bit more gentle approach than the standard swearing and fist-waving rendition I used to get. But, dealt it all the same. The modernized version of this speech is the same premise as the old version, garnished with a lot more “spin.”
Since when did I start with the “spinning” of the parenting philosophy? Hmmm.
Anyway, I know when I was younger and got that speech, I never walked away from it with any of the following thoughts:
-”Hmmm, what a brat I have been to not appreciate all they are doing for me.”
-”Wow - I never realized how much they’re dealing with and how much more difficult I’ve made it for them.”
Nope. My thoughts were more along the lines of:
-”You dreamed of the day you’d be able to pass on that stupid speech, didn’t you?”
-”I wonder how you’d feel if I just DIED. Then how important is your stupid bag of garbage, HUH?!”
Although, these were generally thoughts from my early pre-teen and teenage years - let’s keep in mind the kiddo is only 6. Regardless, I thought maybe I’d try a little softer approach.
Mostly I emphasized the “actions have consequences,” and “unfortunately as The Mom, I have to make sure X,Y,Z gets taken care of” angles. I’m not sure how well it went over… pretty much all I got were more crocodile tears.
By the time I dropped him off we had dried the tears, soothed the hurt feelings, and stressed the importance of responsibility. Add in a bunch of hugs and kisses and all I can hope for is therapy bills instead of asylum admittance (for either one of us, take your pick).
Lots of love,
-Mean Momma
