Thought Process
I don’t like to go on about how unhappy I am with my body. I have on occasion taken a bit of an obsession about it, and from time to time I still manage to engage in scornful looks at the full-length mirrors, not to mention the not-so-full-length mirrors. But I don’t like to whinge on and on about it, because - well, it’s just fucking annoying.I was sitting here tonight when I swore I could smell smoke. Like something was burning. Since I’m getting over a cold I figured the sniffer signals were getting crossed, because I’m not cooking anything.*
Still, I sat for a few minutes and could still smell the burning, which I decided must be a neighbor BBQing. Which then led to the following stream of thoughts that eventually led to this very entry:
BBQ.
I miss my grill.
I’m hungry.
Probably because I haven’t had dinner.
Should probably think about that soon.
Do I want to cook or order something?
I can’t go out, I’m already in my pajamas.
If something really is burning, I should change because these shorts are SO not meant for public viewing.
On account of the giant ass in the shorts, of course.
Giant ass due to the eating.
Which brings me back to dinner.
Too bad I can’t just eat once a day.
I could totally eat healthy if I only had to do it once a day.
I could so resist temptation if I only had to do it once a day.
With the Real Estate market the way it is, people in places like San Francisco would pay major bucks and be happy about it, just to move into the space my ass occupies.
Well, that can certainly be interpreted in more ways than one.
I so didn’t mean that in an ass-fucking sort of way, either - it just happened.
If I blog that I’m just going to end up with even more keyword matches for ass-fucking, or some variation - I think the current hot one is anal fucking, of which I have surprisingly had quite a few.
Strange.
Probably pretty disappointing to the searchers clicking the link then.
To all of you who found my blog while searching for ass fucking - so sorry to disappoint. Again.
Nevermind, I’m not hungry anymore.
*I had to pause to make sure. I have been known to start something on the stove and then get sidetracked by the computer only to later discover what was supposed to be delicious sauteed zucchini slices are now crispy burnt zucchini chips. Which I would totally eat on account of how much I love zucchini - especially sauteed, with a little parmesan, you know? De-lish. Only to find at the first nibble that they really DO taste like charred ass.
