Now with less paranoia!
It’s funny how once you actually talk about something Big, Bad and Scary it suddenly becomes much less Big, Bad and Scary.
Today I had a meeting with my manager and my supervisor to talk about how things are going. Just a little “check-in” on both sides to make sure we’re all in a good place. It was the perfect solution to the anxiety problem. We are all on the same page - and we have the “expectations” laid out and clearly defined.
The anxiety now seems trivial on my part. As usual. That is pretty much my MO. Until I can decide I’m ready to hear the truth - no matter how brutal - I imagine the worst and then react as if it were already true. Part of it, and I know I’m not the only one here, but part of it is that I am my own harshest critic, and when someone else can point out a flaw or a shortcoming that I hadn’t noticed… well, it is really hard to hear.
I’ve had anxiety, and dealt with anxiety for so long… it’s just a normal part of how I function anymore. That’s one reason I decided to start a blog - so I can get all The Crazy out somewhere instead of keeping it locked up inside. It does wonders for my mental health rating. hehe. Well, it must! Because I am still allowed to be out without supervision, so, you know. There’s that.
