Subtle Glow

While running errands this past weekend I found myself slipping down the slope of “compulsive purchases in response to tears.” And also guilt, because I would just as easily spend that money on myself. In a heartbeat. In fact that’s where we were headed on our next ‘errand’ anyway. Oh - what a lamentable parent am I!

For two years - yes YEARS! My kiddo has been dreaming of a most prized possession. On Saturday, as I trudged through boxes of strewn about shoes and nylon “socks” searching for replacement shoelaces — we came face to face with it: Heelys.

If I do say so myself, I have one of the most well-behaved children when it comes to shopping/begging for purchases. I’m either lucky, or I did a few things right in that area. The child didn’t utter a word - not so much as a peep when he spied the precious footwear. He gingerly fondled boxes as he tried to decipher the coding on the side of the box that would indicate which pair were his size. Meanwhile I kept an eye on him as I rounded row after row of displays looking for the shoelaces.

I really wasn’t planning to buy them. Truth be told, the budget money is only just now smoothing out after a few rough months while I transitioned to my new job, and Kiddo’s dad made feeble attempts at child support payments - payments that conveniently tapered off just when we needed them most. Truth be told - I was spending a tiny bit of this week’s grocery allowance, and a bit of some money that was supposed to go to the gas card next month to pay for them. So. There was that.

I sat him down and very gently explained that these were expensive shoes, and I know how he wanted them, but they were more than likely going to show up under the tree at Christmas, instead of going home with us today.

To his credit, he tried so hard to bear the news gracefully. There was no hysterical pitching of fits, no whining, no shreiking. Just very large, very silent tears filling his eyes and slowly making their way down his cheeks.

What can I say? I caved. Although - he had to make a choice… it was the Heelys or it was the contribution to his school fundraiser. Possibly not the best message - charity over personal posession - but you know, there are worse things. Not to mention at least 4 other fundraisers for the school, this year alone, that we will participate in. The clincher in all of it was the fact that I was totally ready to head over to the mall and buy myself just one more pair of those cute jeans from New York & Co.

I just couldn’t do that. I bought the shoes for him. And it was he who reminded me as we left the store, “I’ve been waiting for these since kindergarten - that’s TWO YEARS!” I have a feeling I would have hated those jeans if I had bought them.

Later that day, while in the grocery store I had to pull him close as I explained to him: “You know, every time you nearly slip and fall in those shoes… I have a small little heart attack. I can’t take the stress! Please - stay off your heels while we’re in the store!”

Not to mention my insurance coverage isn’t effective until tomorrow.