Subtle Glow

This time of year, as we all well know, can bring out the absolute BEST in many people. While I openly admit I am a bit of a big fat crybaby, I tell you sometimes the generosity of people can simply amaze me.

On the other hand. Ahem. Sometimes people can really fucking bug me when it comes to charity, generosity, and helping those less fortunate than ourselves.

For instance. The other day I witnessed a conversation where one person wanted to know opinions on a particular Gift Tree. The person then went on to say quite a few judgemental statements on how absurd these strangers were for asking for things that cost $40 - $50 or more. Topping it off with “How needy are you if you have an ipod?” Then later admitted that it wasn’t that she wanted to participate but couldn’t afford the request, but that she could afford the $50 but really didn’t want to spend that much. Which, by the way, is totally her call. I have no problem with that.

What I did find distasteful was the blatent judgement and open disdain for those asking for help. I offered my thoughts which basically amounted to: “If you don’t like it, then don’t be a part of it.” Because honestly I think it’s quite tacky to go on and on about how greedy people are who ask for things that might cost more than five, or ten or even twenty dollars. What the fuck?

This group, the members, they pride themselves on being so “open-minded” and openly revile any sort of Stepford-mentality. Which is why it was so disappointing to see one after the other chime in and support her statements about how they must not really be needy families if these were the things they were asking for. It was literally astounding to me.

Yes, I know there are people who ask for help who don’t really need it. I know there are people who abuse the welfare system and take more than their fair share, without contributing their fair share either. BUT. Not everyone who gets public assistance is taking advantage of it. Not everyone who gets public assistance stays on it forever. Furthermore, not everyone who is poor is dirt poor and lives in a hovel and begs for every nickel and dollar they get to buy food.

It’s actually a very real and very common occurrence that someone makes just enough not to qualify for public assistance but no where near enough to pay the bills every month. In that case - why is it so wrong that they ask for assistance, and might even have a few “fancy” items - like wanting to buy clothes from the Gap? I have a friend in a situation close to this - she’s a single, WORKING mother - works at least full time (more if she can manage it) and lives within extremely modest means. Yet she still struggles to make ends meet. She doesn’t look forward to Christmas and birthdays, because to her it’s a reminder of what she CAN’T provide.

Look at it this way, would you be so discriminating if it were a children’s cancer ward requesting a $50 gift certificate to Chili’s? Would you consider the child to be greedy then?

What I am trying to say, in so very many words, is that you either want to contribute, or you don’t. And if you do - then you don’t get to dictate what the money is spent on - even if they want to spend it ALL on hookers and booze. And please. Shut the fuck up about what people do with the gift cards, or the type of gifts on their wish lists. If you think they don’t deserve those things - well, button your lip and go on about your way. If it were me asking for the help, I sure as fuck wouldn’t want it from the likes of you.