Subtle Glow

This week has been crazy. It wasn’t until yesterday I had a chance to stop and catch my breath - only to realize what a “lovely” entry I left you with.

The turkey burgers did NOT revisit me last week, thankfully. Though I did spend most of the weekend on the couch feeling like complete ass.

One of my girlfriends came over and brought me flowers and made me soup. It was very sweet of her and I was very grateful to her for doing it.

This week, I find myself avoiding her calls and completely annoyed with her.

Let’s just say I’ve had a lot on my mind lately. A lot of stressful things on my mind. The stress, in part, is also what is causing such problems with my stomach.

I know she’s trying to be helpful, and by helpful I mean be a nursemaid for me. The thing is, that totally irritates me. I don’t want to be mothered, I don’t want to be babied. It’s just not my style.

At the same time, how can I turn around and be a total bitch to her? She’s just trying to be nice.

But she also wants to talk about it every time I talk to her. The “it” being that stressful thing on my mind. I’ve asked her to please - just act like she doesn’t know anything about it unless I bring it up. If I bring it up then there’s your cue that I want to talk about it. If I don’t bring it up - then it really means I don’t want to talk about it. No, seriously - that’s what it means!
Time after time she’ll call me and we’re chatting along fine and then it’s “How are you?” and I’ll say “I’m fine, thanks.” and she’ll say “Really? But how ARE you doing?” or “I’m worried about you.” or AAAAAGH!!

It makes me want to fucking scream. Because again - she’s just trying to be nice. That’s her way of being a good friend. Meanwhile I feel like a total bitch because when she starts doing that shit I just want to bite her head off and tell her “STOP IT! I told you when I wanted to talk I would talk. Leave me alone for fuck’s sake about it.”

So, rather than do that I’m avoiding her phone calls. Eventually I’ll calm down enough to be able to talk to her and tell her what’s bothering me, but every time she calls the irritation level climbs back up a little bit.

Hey, guess what? The phone is ringing… Guess who?! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr