Subtle Glow

Sorry to disappoint you if you came to this page looking for The Weepies. You might try this place… because I know he’s got some goods for ya.

No, this post is about something else. You can read all about her here.

The thing is… things are not well in her marriage-land. And I, well I am having a hard time knowing what is the right thing to do.

Last Tuesday, I got a call from her that she was at the end of her rope and needed to escape. She was about half an hour away from getting in her car and driving 12 hours to get here. We talked for awhile, I told her if she needed to come down she could. She decided to cash in some of her miles to get a free ticket - a much better option than a 12-hour drive. Her husband gave her a bit of flack over it, at which point I told her it’s probably better if she doesn’t come down after all.

About an hour later, she called and said she was booking the flight and would be here tomorrow (Wednesday).

It’s really hard for me because I understand that her marriage is not all she wanted it to be, however, I don’t think what she’s doing is going to help that AT ALL. She’s not a complete dummy - she knows this as well.

Last night, after she got in and we finally got settled at the house, I had to tell her some things that have been on my mind since the affair began. Things like, she needs to decide whether or not she wants to be married anymore. At which point I could support her 100%. But right now? I support her 0% when it comes to continuing this way.

You can’t have it both ways. If you can’t decide, then you need to let your husband in on it and have HIM decide.

It’s so easy to be on the outside looking in on the situation. The choices are clear, it’s a matter of making up your mind, and being resolved once you make a decision to stand by it, and follow through on it. Because that one decision cuts a clear path for you in your future, every decision that follows will either keep you on track or not… it’s a matter of keeping your goal in mind (whether it’s to save your marriage or admit you want to move on from it) and moving toward the goal.

Hopefully, for the two weeks that she is here, she will be able to use the time to really get a grip on what it is she plans to do when she goes home.

My fucking head hurts.