Subtle Glow

Yes, I should be working. I just had to peek over at Mighty Goods this morning and noticed I missed out on something I should have:

We all have a “Get up off your ass and…” list.  What’s yours?

Phew!

They let kiddo come home yesterday around 1:30.  Ever his mother’s child, he insisted on keeping to his weekly scheduled overnight at his dad’s.  So technically he’s not “home” yet, but he’s out of the hospital and feeling much better.

I’m back at work today - with plenty to do to catch up and I had scheduled to take tomorrow off so I’m going to go ahead and keep the day off tomorrow.

Basically they told us that his little body just kinda freaked out from the virus and the reaction came in the form of arthritis.  Did you know you can get a reactive, non-recurrent, acute arthritis flare up?  Me either.  The good news is that it usually goes away and never comes back.

Sure works really well for a huge scare, though.

Ok, just wanted to give a quick update…  I seriously have to get some work done now.

Hey - just a quick update.  I’ve been in the hospital with my kiddo since Sunday.  We’re pretty sure that he’s ok, but weren’t sure for awhile there what was going on.  He woke up Saturday morning complaining of leg pain.  By Sunday he couldn’t walk.  We spent all of Sunday in the ER and finally that night they admitted him to monitor him and try to figure out the cause.

They seemed to have narrowed it down to toxic synovitis -  which is really the one to hope for.  They had to rule out septic hip as well as any type of bone infection, and now they just want one more doc to take a look at him to rule out arthritis, etc.

He’s up and around and can walk again as of yesterday, although with a bit of pain and limping.  But the good news is that he is improving on his own, and they’ll be giving him some medication to help him a little more.

I’m doing pretty good, for the most part.  From time to time I’m a little bit of a basket case - ok not really, just crying as a release from the stress of the last 2 days or so of holding it together when I’m with him - but other than that I’m doing good.

Hopefully he can come home from the hospital today, if not then I’d imagine by tomorrow.

You know, after 6-ish, almost 7 years of being separated and divorced, the kiddo’s dad and I get along pretty well. We’re friendly, even. Before I tell you this, though, I do have to state that we chat and talk and joke around, so it’s not like we’re on pins and needles in our conversations. So when you read below, note that this was all said in a friendly, chatty, laughy discourse.
Except. Sometimes - it goes a little too far.

For example! Yesterday, I mentioned I wouldn’t be able to make it to basketball this Saturday to see kiddo play, because I have company coming in to town.
“Who is it?” he wanted to know.

“Oh, my friend.”

“Is it a guy? It’s a guy isn’t it? I can tell by your face.”

After a commenting about what he figured I would be DOING with my company this weekend (which I TOTALLY WILL, but I still don’t want to talk to him about it.) he says, “I may have to get back together with you, then, if that’s what you’re like.”

At that point I had to say, “So uhm, okay. This conversation is getting weird. I’m going to go now.”

What I wanted to say was “Buddy - you will NEVAH get any of THIS again… EVAH!! HHAAHHAHA, SUCKA!!”

See how we’ve learned to be civil? 5 years ago I wouldn’t have hesitated to say what I wanted to, and then he would have felt his manliness challenged, and retorted with some vile name-calling about my personal worth as a woman.
Ahhhh, maturity! I’m so proud of us.

IN OTHER NEWS!

I am in the running for Worst Parent of the Year.  Or Ever.  Well, probably not Ever, because there are parents who leave their 3-month-olds in the hot stifling car while they SHOP, and also parents who leave their baby in the car in the TEXAS HEAT while they go to a STRIP CLUB of all places…  so there’s that.  I think that’s probably good for Worst Parent Ever.  But Just Trust Me, I can be bad, too.  I can’t even talk about it, except you know I will.

Kiddo went to bed last night with a slight fever.  Then woke up this morning with still a fever.  And do you know what I did?  I gave him Tylenol, and sent him to school.  Which, as you may or may not know, is totally against the rules.  That happened, right after I packed the rest of the Tylenol in his backpack for him to take to his dad’s for the weekend.  Drugs at school?  ALSO against the rules.

In my defense (as if) I sent him because he insisted: He was FINE!  He felt GREAT!  And also wanted to go camping this weekend!

Then, he cried.  And I?  Am learning just what a sucker I am for tears.

So, yeah.  You know.

PS - Totally unrelated but who fucked up traffic today?

I’m headed North on 5 and it looks UGLY!

I really think it’s time to re-think where we’re going with all these iPod accessories.

Because this?

Is taking things a little TOO FAR.

Link to full article.

My second entry of the week that also involves itching! You thought the worst of it was over, huh?

I kept the kiddo home from school today as he was sent home early from school yesterday with a fever. And since the nurse knew he had a fever I figured there was no way to just dose him with motrin and send him today.

Heh. I kid!  Mostly.
He seemed to be feeling a little better today. I’m working from home and he’s pretty much occupied in his room. I checked on him a little while ago and BAH!

The child was covered in a rash. BAH!

Kiddo tends to have a bit of a dramatic streak, especially when it comes to anything injury or illness related.

So of course I say all chipper and calm as I observe his reddened skin, “oh, ok then. Why don’t you just continue with your legos, and I’m going to call the doctor to see if he’ll be able to check this out.”

I could see his eyebrows dart up under his overgrown haircut. “The doctor needs to see this? Why? What is it? Is it chicken pox? Wow, I really have a bad rash. ” *commence scratching*

Heh. He’s so cute. I told him there are plenty of viruses that cause fevers and then rashes, most of the time they are HARMLESS, and all those shots he got when he was younger? Well, those pretty much protect him from the more serious “rashes.” So, no - probably not chicken pox.

The doctor’s office just happened to have an opening in about as much time as it would take for us to get shoes on and get over there. Cool.

By this time just about every 5 seconds something ELSE is itching me. My hand. My leg. My side. Heh. Again, cute. hehehe (sort of, but mostly not).

Pretty much it’s what I said - some kind of virus, fever, rash, blah blah blah.

Kiddo is hooked up on Benadryl and soaking in a tub of Aveeno turd bath.

It’s recommended he is home from school again tomorrow. I’m hoping to convince his dad to stay with him. It’s only fair to trade off, right?

In the meantime kiddo is loving life - the last thing the doctor said on our way out: “There’s no reason he can’t be outside playing. Fresh air and sunshine won’t hurt a bit.” Great, thanks Doc! Way to encourage him to want to stay home from school more often!!! WOOT!

There are much worse things you can do when you hear that word.

The other night Kiddo was off doing something and I heard him say in frustration, “Ugh! This won’t stop itching!”

I glanced over to see him scratching the back of his head.

I think my heart stopped for a split second, I threw up a little, and I can’t imagine how wide my eyes got, as I asked, “It itches… on your HEAD?!”

Oh please. Oh please no. Oh please oh please oh please. Where has he been sitting? How will I get that in the washer, with bleach? I have to buy all new furniture and re-carpet this place and oh please no. Oh no no no no no.

After careful scrutiny I felt satisfied that whatever it was causing the itching was NOT lice.

This won’t seem related at first, but the first time I got high I was about 7. My mom got me high, actually. On gasoline fumes.

I’m sure she didn’t *mean* to get us high (yes my brother - I think around 4 or 5 at the time) was there too. And got to have all the fun, too.

The thing is, I guess someone from the school, or the day care - I don’t remember which - sent a note home that someone in the class/day care had a case of lice and they were doing their duty to inform the parents.

I had long long blonde hair - my mother never let me cut it. It was long and blonde and THICK and hung like heavy drapery more than halfway down my back.

I don’t know what went through her mind, but she saw the note and disappeared into the garage.

She returned with a container of gasoline. Which she then mixed with softsoap. And then washed our hair.

I remember leaning over the tub and her warning me to keep my eyes shut very tight so none of it would get in them. I felt funny at first, and then with my eyes squeezed shut I could sort of “see” little shapes dancing around. At one point there was a green background, with a little yellow ‘X’ that ran in a straight line back and forth. It was hard to breathe, all I could smell were fumes. I don’t know how long it took for her to wash and rinse and then re-wash with regular shampoo. But I remember calling her name at one point, “Mom?” and her voice came back from very far away.

My brother, I remember, stood in the bathtub and tipped his head back as far as he possibly could. He screamed in terror the entire time.

My mother told us we would have the cleanest heads in the entire school.

I knew she did this because she knew she couldn’t afford the special shampoo to treat the lice.  Even knowing that, I still can’t help but think - “What the…?” We didn’t even have lice, actually. Just the note, that someone *else* had them.

Until my “boyfriend” arrives for a week.

I am very much looking forward to it. He planned the trip about 6 weeks ago - I have been counting down ever since.

I know. What’s up with the quotes? Is he your boyfriend or not?

Technically, No. He isn’t.

I mean, as far as putting a specific label on it, then No we don’t share the labels of boyfriend or girlfriend.

It does make it confusing, in terms of defining what our relationship is or isn’t. Is “on hold” an option?

He wants to go back to school to finish his 4-year degree. For whatever reason, he had to move out of California to do it. I still don’t think I understand that part of it, but then I probably wouldn’t accept any explanation anyway, so does it matter? He also has a son about to start high school who has lived with his mother for his whole life - and now wants to live with his father. This seems to be an ideal time, as his father can help him focus through high school and start shaping his future. The goal is for him to finish his degree and start on his Master’s degree, meanwhile preparing and planning to send his son off to college. That is the plan.

Between his moving away and all of the long-term goals he has over the next 3 - 4 years, we’ve left things somewhat open-ended as far as “we” are concerned. We keep in touch, we care about each other, but basically the timing is just not right for us to be together. I can deal with that.
Ok, so anyway. Talk about moving slow. A lot of couples who have been together for 18 months are way beyond where we are. Some are moving in together, some have been living together, some are planning to marry, some are already married. But for now this is what works. My post last week pretty much highlighted that I move slow when it comes to matters of the heart. This is pretty much the pace we have gone from the day we started seeing each other. I really like that we can just be together and not have to worry about what it is or what it isn’t. It makes the time we spend together just about enjoying being together. I think that’s how it should be. It’s hard to imagine meeting anyone else and having it be so easy together.

I trust him.

I respect him for wanting to be there for his son.

I admire how he puts his sons up at the top of his list of priorities - I wouldn’t want to be with someone who didn’t.

He treats me with respect - always.

He likes to debate, but won’t disagree just for the sake of disagreement; There is always merit to his argument. In that way, he challenges me to think things through and we can debate on a topic without things getting too heated or emotional, or personal.

He NEVER dismisses my thoughts as hysterical, or due to PMS.

But he does know when something is bothering me, and will ask. He knows when to push me for an answer and when to let it go.

He is dependable; I know he’s there if I need to lean on him for support. If I can manage to ADMIT that I need it in the first place. When I finally do admit it, he already knew anyway.

We both have children; neither wants any more.

We hold the same values and beliefs when it comes to Politics (both sides are bunch of corrupt effers), Finances (although I’m a bit more likely to splurge), Adultery (unacceptable).

We differ slightly when it comes to religion. He follows a particular faith; I do not. However we both feel that spirituality and faith, etc. should be mainly personal and to force your faith on another is inappropriate, not to mention disrespectful.  Also - annoying!  heh.
He’s honest - almost to a fault! But in the end this tends to increase trust, so I deal with the truths I may not be all that open to hearing. He gets the same from me anyway.

I love his sense of humor, and I can get him rolling as well.

I love just talking to him. Sometimes about serious stuff - sometimes just silliness. Last night we spent a good half-hour discussing what probably REALLY happened with the whole Brad, Angelina, and Jennifer situation. (He thinks they planned the baby. I think they planned to deny their relationship, until they found out she was pregnant and gave up all pretenses.)

Ok, so I can go on - I haven’t even touched on the intimacy we share but I probably want to keep that private anyway. But you get the idea. I just had to put it all down in a list. In case I ever wanted to share it with him.

Not bad for a boyfriend with quotes around him.

;)

We don’t know what the future holds and for now it sometimes sucks that it’s all wait-and-see. But we agree this is how it needs to be. Other than that - it’s everything it needs to be.

So, I am very excited to have him here with me for the next week. I can’t wait for that first kiss when I pick him up!

**I decided to go ahead and enter this in the Blogging for Books contest. What? You don’t know what that is? Well, go ahead and click the link to read and find out and then enter and post linkages and be happy and sunny and smily! And maybe even a winner!**

“Figure it out. Use paperclips if you have to. Wave your Harry Potter wand. I don’t know, kiddo - I just don’t understand how this happens.”

That was the sentiment I *wanted* to tell my 7 2/3 year old child today when I got the call from the school nurse.

“He doesn’t have any shoelaces.”

Excuse me?

“The shoelaces are completely out of his shoes.”

How does that happen? I mean, he left the house with shoelaces this morning.

“Well, there are no shoelaces. We can’t let him leave the office until he has some, due to safety concerns.”

Oh. Ok. Can I speak with him?

“Hi Mom.”

Hi, yeah. Listen… what happened?

“Well, I was just running around, outside. And uhm.. then, my shoelaces were just really loose… so then when I came down, off the slide… they were just, gone.”

Of course. Right. Ok, put the nurse back on please.

This is one of the major downfalls of working 30 miles away from where we live/he goes to school. His dad was just a few miles away, but unfortunately was about to head into a meeting and wouldn’t be able to handle it.

Luckily when I got this job I gave a girlfriend who works/lives close by the key to my house. Where, as if by magic, I have an extra pair of shoelaces.

I no sooner got back into the office with my lunch and my phone is ringing again. What, now???

Turns out it was a recruiter. Calling about an opening. That will pretty much be perfect for me.

And it’s less than 10 miles from where we live, and from where we’re moving.

And it pays a lot more.

Oh my gawd.

Am I really contemplating switching jobs again? Am I?

Well, I’m going to update my resume this weekend and send it over to the recruiter. Just to see. There’s no harm in that, right?

So, yeah. I guess I am.

Funny how those two events happened together, on the same day, within less than an hour of each other.

Because I look like all of the before pictures. You know…  NORMAL, apparently.  Wow.