Subtle Glow

Hey! I signed my lease yesterday, so in about month I’ll be setting up house in my new place. And seriously - NOT moving for a few years. At least three, but no more than five. That is my goal.

I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and as much as there are things that I like about where I live now, I definitely want to move out of state. I haven’t settled on where, although I have a couple places in mind as a “maybe” and probably a whole 48 or 49 other STATES that are a definite “No.”

Currently, my not-boyfriend lives in one of the “No” states. In fact it’s a “No and Hell No” state. But - he does want to move once he’s done doing his thing (school) there. Of course, he wants to move to another “No” state. Of course.

To be completely honest, and aside from the freezing icy winters there and the stifling humid summers there and the cost of living almost as high as here, I just think that if it happens that we end up going down the path of “together” rather than apart - well, he should have to sacrifice something as well.

That probably sounds a little bit petty in some aspects. I agree.

However, there’s more to it than just that. Most importantly, I would want to know that he’s not with me only if I’m willing to make it as convenient for him as possible. Maybe in some ways I feel like that’s what I’ve done to some degree, or on some level. I agreed to it at that point, during that time. That doesn’t mean I have to keep agreeing to it, or that I will.

I’ve made it clear that I want to move out of this state in a few years, and he’s not 100% settled on where he wants to move once he’s done with school. There’s no reason he HAS to move back to the “No” state. See where this is going? I see it going down a path of neither of us willing to compromise and so we go our separate ways. That’s only based on other conversations we’ve had that sort of circle this particular drain. Also, it is based on the fact that I Am Stubborn and also the fact that So Is He.

Anyway, it’s just a tiny little marble that has been rolling around in my brain. It’s way too early to decide any of this, so there’s no point in bringing it up and trying to settle on it at any time in the near future. For the time being I’m just going to give myself a quick smack on the head, and hopefully lodge that pesky marble back into a dusty corner somewhere. Although, at some point that marble is going to start getting to be more than a tiny little marble. I know it will. That is how these things go.

But, just for a little while, let’s you and me forget I ever brought it up. Can you do that? Ok, well then in that case - just pretend you can. So will I.