Hello Friend.
Or: How to Invite a Friend to Thanksgiving Dinner
“Hello Friend, would you like to come over for Thanksgiving dinner?”
“Yes, I would.”
“Ok, great. Except, well - I won’t have any of that canned cranberry stuff.”
“I don’t eat that.”
“Oh. Phew. Also - I’m sorry but I don’t make yams. With the marshmallows? Yeah, I don’t make those.”
“I don’t eat those either.”
“Great! Please come over for Thanksgiving dinner. Bring pie. But not pumpkin.”
“… OK. You will be having wine, right? Perfect.”
How to Invite Your Mother for Thanksgiving Dinner
“Hi Mom, I invited a friend and her family over for Thanksgiving. Are you guys coming, too?”
“Sure - we can do that.”
“Good. Can you bring some chairs? My table only has two.”
“… OK. Uh, should we bring anything else?”
“Oh, don’t worry - I’ve got the wine covered.”
“Perfect!”
Seriously.
