Subtle Glow

Hilarious.

And this?  Also very fun.

But the first link is better.

I sometimes wonder how often my instincts are right on and how often it’s just paranoia parading as normal.  I sometimes find my instincts were right all along and then I kick myself for doubting them.

This has nothing to do with anything, or anything relevant at least.  It’s somehow found itself winding its way down around the path from brain to fingers to keys to screen.

It’s dry. I’m blinking too much.  My eyes are gritty but I don’t know if it’s from the dryness or the blinking or the tearing trying to fight the dryness.  The flu is going around.  I’m running from it, and it hasn’t caught me yet.  It kicked my kiddo in the face today, repeatedly.  In November you should be chilled without a blanket.  He’s crying, shivering hot and he doesn’t understand why.

I know what you’re going through.  I know it feels awful but I promise, here - take this, I promise it gets better.  Soon.  Just give it time.  Have a drink,  shhhh.  That’s better, yes?  Close your eyes, I’ll kiss you make it better.  I’m here, just call, I’ll be waiting for you.

I have so many thoughts buzzing thorugh my mind these days, if I could sit still and still be able to catch them long enough to write them down I might be able to make some sense of it. In fact I don’t even know if it’s my thoughts running away from me, or the other way around. One minute I’m fine, the next I’m a hundred miles down a road of uncertainty and doubt and anger and confusion and, ugh - fuck it all. I don’t want to do this, yes I do, no I don’t. you deserve - something. Not just something but more. You should at least get as much OUT of something as you put IN to it. And all the while Warning Sign is running through your head like a melody - I missed the good part, and I realized… yeah the truth is - I miss you.

No seriously, I cannot stand to have one more piece of candy near me. What is it about the hours of 9pm - 11pm that suddenly all reason and self-control get thrown out the window? I have been eating candy I don’t even fucking LIKE, as in Whoppers (vile excuse for candy - hello let’s ball up sawdust and cover it in not-chocolate). Yet I find myself, chomping them down anyway.

I haven’t seen kiddo since Halloween - he spent the last two nights with his dad. Let’s hope he left his candy there - for this weekend of course! Sounds good to me. If not I need to come up with something creative so that he’s not eating it for breakfast (or around the clock for that matter) and I’m not dipping in to it at night. Hmmmmm.

Unrelated: You may have noticed I switched back to the old template…  I liked the new one but I don’t know how to tweak it, and in my opinion it needs a few tweaks.  For instance, the background has those cute little flowers, but there’s no background on the comment section so that the flowers don’t muck up the readability of the comments.  It reminded me too much of MySpace, with the template all up in the content’s business and I am just not having it.  So that’s that.

Just wanted to pop in to let you know that as of today I am officially within five pounds of the wieght listed on my driver’s license. So basically my driver’s license is no longer a lie.  Not that I want to get pulled over, but let’s just say hypothetically I DID, the officer wouldn’t glance at my driver’s license and smirk.
All that despite the chewy mini sweet tarts and mini m&ms I’ve been chomping the last few days…  Get me away from the candy!!

Kiddo went trick-or-treating with his dad last night, so hopefully he won’t bring all the chocolate caramel nougat peanut butter cup wafer goodness (NAY!  BADNESS!) in to the house.