Cancer is a lameass fuckwad.
And that’s just putting it mildly.
A really close friend of mine is the first in our small circle to tell us about her ongoing scare with a Lump in Her Breast. At this point it is the the very early discovery stages, but I know she is worried, and I know her husband is worried, and I know they have a little girl who is younger than Kiddo that they are trying to Hide All the Worry from.
We’re hoping it’s just A Scare, the kind that is still scary but in the end No Big Deal, and also a Pain in the Boob, but other than that Nothing To See Here. Because, you know, we totally love her and her boobs and none of us want to change, ok? OK CANCER? Do you hear me? OK THEN.
I posted a message to her today saying I hope the results of today’s biopsy will be “good news” and she posted back that good news at this point means another biopsy but hey I guess that’s better than cancer, right?
So I posted back UH YEAH that would be better, let’s have some of that, where can I get in line for that please right now ok.
(I don’t know why, but I feel the need to explain that a long time ago we all decided to open a private forum for all of us rather than wading through a bunch of emails from each other… so that’s where the she posted/I posted stuff comes in. Probably not relevant, but Hello my friend might have breast cancer, but only Maybe, and we hope not but Still!)
I realized as I wrote out my reply to her that you know what? Cancer isn’t something that you can just shake a stick at and make it go away. It’s not something you can ignore without consequence. And as I left my response to her where I asked to please order me a side of Yes I will take anything but cancer, thank you! I realized that the shitty part is that you really can’t just “throw money at the problem” and have it go away. At least not directly, in a “I’ll have medium fries and a chocolate shake with that” kind of way.
Sure, I know there are foundations that exist solely to raise money for research that they hope will ultimately find a cure. I know because ironically this same friend just completed a 3-day, 60-mile walk to support them in their cause. Less than a month ago.
Are you listening Cancer? She just walked 60 miles in three days and got 14 blisters on her feet so she could help stomp your sorry ass out - and this is the thanks you give? The scare alone is enough, even if it turns out to be nothing more than just a lump. The scare is because of YOU, Cancer. You and your menace.
You can’t just throw money at the problem, at the possible diagnosis or the fallout from that, and make it go away. As her friend, I can only stand by and wait, and hope for the best and to worry, and pretend that everything will be Fine, and to ignore that nagging doubt about What If? Because it’s not time for that yet, because I can’t imagine such a thing, because I refuse to give it the thought required until it’s real.
In the meantime I stand by my title sentiment.
