Subtle Glow

…was not allowed to settle here this year.

It’s not from stress of too much to do and not enough time to do it.  I’m just not that into it this year.

To top it all off, I woke up this morning and my computer was dead.  My otherwise perfectly functioning computer as of last night (or shall I say this morning at 1am) when I left it, was dead.  I am hoping it is just the power supply.  It’s supposed to be an easy and relatively inexpensive fix, but I still won’t be able to have it fixed before Tuesday, because of Christmas.
Kiddo is at his dad’s for the night - he woke up jittery with excitement.  At 5 AM this morning.  I was not so jittery, or excited, to say the least.  If anything I was counting down the minutes until he could go and I would be alone.  Not because I don’t love him dearly and want to spend time with him, but because I am in such a funk or mood or whatever that I worry if he were here today - my crankiness would bleed out onto his holiday.  No better scrooge than one who will darken a child’s joy and excitement, right?  It is better that he is with his dad and his dad’s family.  Hopefully that will give me time to get rid of this whatever-it-is, and tomorrow I’ll feel better, and we’ll be going to my mom’s for dinner.

Speaking of which - I’m supposed to bring dessert.  Which means I need to go to the store.  To buy things.  For dessert.  At the STORE.  On Christmas Eve.  Somehow I don’t think that is joy bubbling it’s way to the surface at the thought.  We didn’t exactly settle our plans for tomorrow until last night, so it’s not like I knew ahead of time, either.  Maybe I’ll be luck and everyone has all the food stuff and they will just be crowding the Wal-Mart across the street.  Maybe, I will just go to the store tomorrow morning before Kiddo gets here…  hmmmhmmhmmmmm.

Maybe I will just go online and order a new laptop.  Ack.  NO.  Not yet, anyway.  I’ve been toying with the idea of getting one for a while now.  Ideally I would be waiting until after the new year… closer to my birthday would be better.  But with my computer down and only my work laptop to use as backup it’s very (VERY) tempting.  A good point made was that I still need to get to a lot of the stuff on that computer, so I’m going to have to deal with it sooner or later anyway.  Might as well get that settled before I get the new one.

Ok, must get to the store.  I’m supposed to go to a party later tonight - I really don’t want to but I’m thinking maybe I should, rather than sit here and mope about.  I’m hoping it will help lift my mood, but at the same time I’m worried I’ll be the one they wished they left at home to mope.