Conversations with a Fourth Grader
#1“So Kiddo, now that you’re in fourth grade you will be earning letter grades. That’s kind of exciting. You think you’re all set to be an “A” student?”
“Yes, but of course there will be the occasional F on some things.”
“Uhm, actually, NO. That will not be acceptable. Same for D’s. While we’re at it, just go ahead and plan on getting A’s or B’s.”*
He cries and tells me, “You’re pushing me too hard! I can’t do that good all the time.”
“You can, and you will, because there is no excuse for failing grades other than pure laziness. So I will keep pushing until you accept that failing is not an option.” I am the meanest mother in the world.
Except when you remember how easy it is to get good grades in school anymore, and put into perspective just how much you have to TRY to get a failing grade. Then I guess I’m not the meanest mother, just the biggest pain in the ass. I’ll live.
*I think a C letter grade is acceptable, provided that he’s working hard and that is all he was capable of earning. I didn’t think that this particular conversation was the place to try and make that determination.
Later, the same day:
#2
“Hey Kiddo, did you have a chance to ask your teacher about these different projects that are due later this month?”
“Oh, gosh - I forgot.”
“Ok, why don’t you write yourself a note in your planner? That way when you write down the next homework assignment you can remember to ask.”
He stares blankly at the page and claims he doesn’t know know what to write.
Pretty much I hit the roof after ten minutes of him staring at the page and playing with his pencil. Stonewalling. Additional attempts made to have him write a reminder were met with the same response, “I don’t know what to write.”"Well, what do you need to remember to ask about?”
“The science project and the social studies project.”
“Ok, then write that down.”
“But I don’t know what to write.”
Repeat that conversation no less than five times and then scream in frustration and you will have an idea of how awesome that was.
It has been a couple days and then he spent some time at his dad’s so I have been able to resist the urge to spin myself into the same ridiculous circle about the projects.
He brought home a piece of paper that detailed the requirements for the science project, along with TWO pages of websites full of resources for completing the assignment. I was supposed to sign the front page and send it back to school.
#3
“Mom, you need to sign this page so I can bring it back to school. Right here next to where I signed.”
“Sure. So you understand the assignment and what you need to do?”
He stares at me.
“Honey I just want to make sure that when I sign it, it is because I understand what you need to do for this. So do you understand your assignment?”
Then I went on to tell him that this was an assignment for HIM to do - not me. Which may have solidified my presence as a full-blown pain in the ass.
He continued to stare at me, the blank look slowly turning sullen.
Oh, this is going to be a FUN year…
