Subtle Glow

my stubborn will, is learning to bend...

I am lazy

Filed under: Sorta Daily — Lily at 1:45 pm on Tuesday, April 29, 2008

I don’t so much blog anymore, but occasionally I will twitter.

I think I inadvertently might have sent some family members here.  Maybe it was on purpose.  It doesn’t really matter since I don’t update here anymore.  I guess, I am no longer “a blogger.”

I am fat again.  Oh. mah. Gawd. It’s gross.  Of course I sit on my fat butt all the time so what do you expect?  What do *I* expect?  I’m thinking of trying out kickboxing-style workouts. With a real life bag and gloves, not that stupid “shadowboxing/dancing” crap I am too uncoordinated to follow.
I took a health assessment at work (free $50 gift card!) and at the end I was told, in red letters no less, “PLEASE SEEK HELP IMMEDIATELY FOR YOUR DEPRESSION!!”

*head jerks up*

Excuse me?

I wasn’t aware I was depressed.  I mean, sure, it’s been a crappy couple weeks, feeling like I’m totally sucking at life.  My ‘customers’ at work had little good to say about a project I worked very hard on.  Worse - I felt like I had done my very best, had done a great job in fact, until I heard from them otherwise. I felt like a failure.  Then I spend an afternoon in a meeting where I was screamed at for what was, to quote, “…just how I *feel*, even though it may not actually be the reality.”
My parenting is being called on the carpet - by the school,  and my son’s seemingly inability to understand school assignments are not a choice they are a requirement.  How, in a decade of parenting, have I failed to get this through to him?

Depressed?  No.  Run down, and even a little bored by the rigor of it all - sure.  But only very recently for a short period and honestly not anymore.  I had a couple bad days, a few mood swings, and now I have perspective on it and - Hello.  I’m not a failure in either regard. I’m not saying my mood wouldn’t be perked right up if I were able to shed 25 pounds in the next day, though.  By no means am I out on a ledge or anything either.

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