Bully Encounter
Monday I dropped Kiddo off at a neighborhood “club” which will serve as child care for this summer. I picked him up that day and he seemed rather quiet and reserved. In typical fashion, on the car on the ride home I asked about his day. He said it was ok. I pressed further and he said the thing I knew I would one day hear but dreaded, “Some bigger kids were picking on me, shoving me around and stuff.”
At which point he broke down into tears.
At which point I could feel the lickings of a slowly burning rage. How dare someone mess with him?! The protective part of me was spring-loaded and ready to pounce and thrash the little grommets. GRR! Images of getting down at their eye level and growling and snarling at them to back off went skipping briefly around my brain.
I took a few breaths and reminded myself that these were children. That my own son was at one time part of a group where they picked on someone else - briefly because once I caught wind of it I read him the riot act for half the night. He ended up sticking up for that boy afterwards and they became friends.
We talked some more. They threatened him, told him they would beat him up if he told on them, etc. The usual bullying crap that kids do. I weighed my options. I mean, I knew that promoting any physical retaliation wasn’t the right way to go, but on the other hand, I wanted him to know that I would support him if he felt he needed to defend himself. I might have even sighed and said, “I’m sorry sweetheart, kids can be dicks to each other, and it’s all part of growing up.”
I couldn’t help it though, couldn’t resist one little piece, where I advised him to find even one of them (there were three ganging up on him) ALONE at some point, and make it clear that they were not to put their hands on him. EVER. I was banking on the fact that singling one of them out would prove that they wouldn’t be so “tough” without their other friends around.
Yesterday I picked him up and asked if he had a better day. He smiled and nodded and on the way to the car, he told me how he had talked to not just one of the boys alone, but ALL three. He found each one alone and told them to leave him alone. He was very proud of himself and I could tell he was relieved. I said to him that was great - now he could go about his business as if they don’t exist.
We’ll see what today holds. It wouldn’t surprise me if they team up and circle back around to see if there’s any more they can do to provoke him, but I’m hoping not.
