Subtle Glow

Seriously - does everything have to vibrate now?  I thought it was a bit much when they did it with toothbrushes.  Mascara wands, really?  Don’t they realize it’s hard enough not to accidentally poke myself in the eye, forcing my eye to involuntarily squint shut, thereby smearing wet mascara under my eyes and basically forcing me to start OVER.

That and glitter in deodorant.  WTF?

You may have heard about the earthquake we had yesterday.  Just a little shaky rumble in this area, the first that was noticeable in quite a while.

Eventful, sure.  Setting the tone for the rest of the day, however, was more jarring than the slight rock’n'roll feel on the second floor of my office building yesterday.

In fact I’d say the silly little earthquake was pretty much overshadowed by my ensuing mental spun-outness.  I’m blaming the quake for that, but still.  I was all ‘ho-hum’ outside and ‘bzzzt! blrrrrrt! bbbllllltt!’ on the inside.

So then.  I walk into a meeting to be greeted with a little bit of a group admonishment from the meeting organizer (also my direct boss) about how this meeting doesn’t occurr that often and is for everyone’s benefit and we really need to make it a priority.  My cell phone promptly rang forcing me to step outside to answer it.

The call itself was from a home security company, and when they first identified themself I assumed it was a sales call and immediately put on my face of contempt for telemarketers who call during work hours, immediately following this I felt like a complete ASS because they were calling to inform me that my friend’s burglar alarm was set off and they were unable to reach her or anyone else above me in the phone tree, and should they dispatch the authorities?

Uhmmm, yes. “Please go ahead and do that,” I tell them.  They let me know once the authorities arrive that if they need someone to respond they will again go down the phone tree.  “Ok,” I say and hang up.  Call friend, leave message, stare dazed at phone for a few minutes wondering what to do next. Return to meeting.

Discussion has ensued in my absence about validity of meeting and how people are always ditching it, etc.  Still, with the meeting attendance?  Still, with the wondering why people find reasons not to go?

Phone rings again.  Caller ID shows it’s security company.  I weigh my options.  Decide to let it go to voicemail as I really shouldn’t bail on this meeting at this point.

Return to desk after meeting, check email, receive notice of insufficient funds available in one of my bank accounts.  Eyes widen, wondering What in the fuck? and then promptly narrow, realizing it is probably my (limited time labeled [let’s hope] ‘jackass’) brother who has been spending money he put in the account to pay me back that he really shouldn’t be spending to begin with, not to mention spending MORE than what is in the account.

Draft a text message of wordy and really bitchy lecture and remember: Goddamn it, today is his birthday, and I don’t want to have to be *like this* to him on his birthday, but then again I don’t really want him to run all yippy skippy spending more of the money he doesn’t have out of an account in MY name…   Delete draft of text message, IM friend to say OMG I am packing up I need to leave immediately can I call you before I lose my shit???

She has first customer in hours right as I send message so am left with rising annoyance at brother’s jackassery and how to put a quick stop to it before additional charges apply.  Send very short text: bank account overdrawn. pls stop withdrawing from it.

Meanwhile the voicemail from the security company nags at me.  I decide it’s worth driving over to her house to just see what’s what. No answer on her cell again.  Realize I don’t have her new work number, I call our former employer and track down a colleague to see if he has her work number but no luck there.  Sadly I haven’t talked to him in ages but have to quickly explain I don’t mean to be rude but there may be some trouble may be lurking nearby and I don’t have time to chat.

By this time the customer has left and my friend is calling and I’m telling her about the jackassery at which point I start to question who is the jackass?  I opened the account in my name for him because no bank will give him an account due to his credit.  As I’m talking I’ve made two wrong turns trying to get to her house and still avoid a myriad of construction cone zones in the three blocks between me and her house.  Call information to try to reach her at work: voicemail.
I get there and the front door is open but the security screen is locked tight.  Ask around to the neighbors, all seem mildly concerned but probably as baffled as I am about what to do.  Phone calls made trying to reach someone who knows someone who might know her boyfriend’s number…  no luck.

Finally I call the security company back to ask what the authorities found or if someone maybe ‘fessed up to accidentally setting off the alarm.  No, still a mystery.  After that I figure I’ve done what I could and head home, trying one last time to call her cell phone and let her know what’s going on.  She answers, and I relate the entire last two hours of my calling and tracking her down (as I’ve pretty much just done here, minus the parts about the earthquake and the jackassery) and tell her, “I know it’s been a while since I’ve seen you, but really it’s not necessary to go to such lengths to get me to come over.”  She gets home and confirms that a quick second-thought about which door to leave from meant the front door was unlocked.  Either the little quake jumbled it ajar, allowing the wind to blow it open and trigger the alarm.
Once I’m home, grab a plate of crackers, cheese, cold cuts and a bottle of wine, all of which were consumed in their entirety.  Go to bed and clench jaw all night long, waking with sore face and aching head. Mistake the day for Thursday and take the morning off thinking I have to work late tonight for month-end, only to realize while waiting in the 10-car queue for the drive-thru Starbucks that, OH FUCK.

It’s only the 30th and not the 31st.

I’m not sure if I mentioned before I abandoned this blog that last December we adopted a cat from the local shelter.  Buster is feisty and full of personality and - mostly - he is a sweet cat and a great addition to the household.

Unfortunately.

The time has come for the cat to part ways from our family.  He has a very unfortunate habit of not using his litter box at times.  It’s one thing if it is the floor, or the carpet, which is not ideal but mostly you can clean it up and move on. The first time happened while I was away on a business trip for two weeks.  My brother and Kiddo were home, doing their daily routine, so essentially the only thing different was that I was not there.  The day before I flew home from that trip, I received the dreadful news that the cat had used *my bed* as his choice spot to urinate.

PISSED.  That word not only describes what he did, but it also scratches the surface of how I felt about it.  I was furious, but even then, through the murderous rage I was feeling, I attributed it to the fact that I was gone, and I’ve heard that sometimes cats do that kind of thing.

Until yesterday.

Last night I went to climb in bed for the night and found that he DID IT AGAIN.  On my bed. Again.

I don’t know where exactly he will be going, but that is only a small detail at this point.  The cat must go.

The heartbreaking point of this is that Kiddo and the cat are very fond of each other.  It is going to be very hard on him to see the cat go.  Unfortunately this is just not something I can or will tolerate.  I don’t even want to know *why* the cat is doing it, because I will never trust that he won’t do it again.  Some may consider me a horrible person for giving away what they consider a family member.

To those I say, “I have a cat available for you to adopt.”