Subtle Glow

Looking at the awesomeness of what this guy has done in these pictures and thinking, “I wonder if he’s a tweaker.”

I have always had a dependence on an alarm to wake me up in the morning. Sure, there were rare mornings where I turned the alarm off before I was conscious enough to realize it. Generally, the alarm goes off, I hit snooze six times or so once or twice and then drag myself into the shower.

It seems to be more and more common that I hit snooze enough times that the alarm actually resets itself for the next day, and there I am, still snuggled in to bed.

What happened to the days where I would get up and get going and make it in to the office (coffee in hand!) by 7am?

Taskbar Shuffle - (via Lifehacker)

I am compulsive about the order of my taskbar applications; if I am at work I *must* have Outlook as the very first taskbar item (I don’t use Outlook at home). Sometimes my system will glitch and Outlook moves to some other spot on the taskbar, which means I have to shut down ALL my open programs and then re-open everything so it’s in the right spot.

Can you say obsessive? Yep!

I just installed this thing today and I will never have to worry about that little glitch anymore. It might be concerning if I shared the level of relief and joy this brings to me. I think I’ll just keep those details to myself.

But I definitely wanted to share the link (at the top of this entry, in red). Enjoy…

Kiddo made it through his dental appointment yesterday. There was only a brief period of freak out, but after talking with the dentist and giving him a few minutes space he was able to calm himself down and get through it. He has one more appointment to get the other half done and then hopefully we can be more diligent with the daily brushing and flossing so as to avoid any more trouble in the future.

I got an extra bonus when we checked out - I got to pay $300 instead of the initial expectation of $230. Next time? I get to pay another $300! Or maybe they under-estimated the amount covered by insurance. Or maybe they over-estimated. Apparently, I just won’t know until it’s time for me to pay for it. So much for the budget, wheeee!

If you haven’t notice, it really annoys me to pay for health or dental or vision insurance coverage and then have to pay for costs related to those things. So if you need me I’ll be over here gnashing my teeth and searching through my insurance information to try and get an idea of what to expect for my “share” of costs. I guess you can say I don’t share well. Grrr.

**update**

Well, according to my benefits information, I should only have to pay 15% rather than 50%.  Which would mean I should get some of the $300 back that I already paid, rather than pay another $300.  The only thing they don’t specify is if there is any difference in coverage for different materials used for restorative treatment (as in metal fillings vs. composite).  So, I kind of know now but not really.  I do my own taxes - I should be able to figure this out, right?  Does it ever make you wonder if they make it complicated on purpose - so they can screw you without you really knowing it?  I can’t stand being so ignorant about all of this.

Kiddo has the first of two fourth of five dental appointments to have cavities filled. The first appointment was for the exam/xrays/cleaning, the second was the attempt to fill the cavities which resulted in a referral to a pediadontist, and the third was for the initial assessment from the pediadontist. Two different non-permanent teeth - two different appointments for the fillings - more than $250 out of my pocket for each of those two visits.

I’m looking at that amount and wondering how that can be… because last time I checked I do have dental insurance. I don’t even want to *think* about what orthodontia will run - because xrays have confirmed there will be some need there as well. OK let’s move on from the orthodontia right now - that is not my first concern (which is another way of saying cram that bundle of worries to the back of the bus because there are more immediate stops with more pressing worries to unload).

In the meantime, I’m hoping that Kiddo will be brave. He is so scared and nervous. The first time he tried to have his cavities filled, he freaked out as soon as he felt the effects of the gas.

Here we thought our last visit there would be the one where they filled the cavities. He was all geared up for it (we both were), being as brave as possible, only to find out that Nope! This is just another visit where they look at your teeth. We would have to come back for the fillings.

So we steeled ourselves for the still pending and inevitable day. When Kiddo mentioned that his appointment was coming up in a few days I realized that he was still keeping track - that it was still on his mind. Poor buddy, I know he will be ok but until he is done with it he won’t believe that he will be ok.

I called today to get a rough estimate of how much my portion would be and that’s when I found out there would have to be two visits. Anything else we should know? For example do you accept US dollars or do I need to exchange to another currency because probably NOW would be a good time to tell me these little details.

Poor kiddo. I am not looking forward to having to tell him this news. I am tempted to talk to him about trying to do it without the gas - because he would still be awake, but he wouldn’t feel any pain because they would still use the medicine to numb his mouth. I’ve never used the gas before, and I know some people cannot really tolerate the feeling. Any time I have had anesthesia there is always an initial sense of panic/claustrophobia for me, but I am able to talk myself through it for the few additional seconds it takes to get past that initial sensation.

I don’t know how to talk him through this. It’s not like I can have him try out the nitrous beforehand so he’ll know what it’s like:

Hey Kiddo - have you ever heard of whip-its?! Don’t worry - it’s just like going to the dentist!

Can you imagine the headlines? Better yet - the teenage years?

I know I’m nervous about it and he is picking up on that nervousness - even though I’m trying to hide it and appear calm and collected. I’m not really one to get hysterical or outwardly emotional about his illnesses or injuries. Instead I get very quiet and force myself to stay (or at least appear) calm so I can think rationally. It is only later that I can break down, when I have let the pressure build up (and when I am alone - because for some reason it’s BAD to be seen as weak. Yes - I have issues. Anyway).

I hope (HOPE! with all my heart) that the actual filling process turns out to be nothing compared to all this build up and anticipation of it. I have to think by now - with all this waiting and rescheduling - it has to be.

I know I have mentioned my complete freakishness about my eyes before. So, I’m sure you will understand the title of my entry when I tell you I have a suspicious spot of redness on the lower lid of my right eye. The eye - it itches. My left eye is also bloodshot. It does not itch but it is irritated and both eyes are easily tired.

Please. Please let it just be environmental irritation. Let it be allergies. Let it be anything other than some weird infection that will be puffy and red - or worse (like pink eye! or a sty!). Let it NOT be those things. Let it be irritation to the fakey lashes I have been wearing, or irritation from the lash adhesive remover I used last week in order to give the eyes a rest. Even though the irritation showed up a full week after the last duralash touched an authentic (and WOW - very short, barely visible!) eyelash.

Dearest Universe,

I’m about to start a vacation… I don’t want to use the time hiding in the house while I wait for my face to return to an acceptable condition for public exposure. I don’t want the first time I have taken more than a day or two of vacation in over two years to be spent being stricken with some illness. But if there must be some affliction involved… please not the eyes!
Pretty please?

Thanks ever so much.

Currently thinking: “GRRR it is very hot and stuffy in here - why the fuck do they keep shutting off the air?!! ARRRRRRGH. PS - I might beat something with a heavy stick if I have to sit through another hour of this tax crap.”